Friday, April 01, 2005
Those little things.

My other grandmother is suffering from a mild stroke, as I just visited her at Tan Tock Seng Hospital (( TTSH )). Oh, bollocks. I've just lost my maternal grandmother to stroke and some other complications due to old age just last October. I am not prepared to lose any more people that I love.

I am just praying that the mild stroke my grandmother has will just be a tough but transient phase. I know how people say that you have to "redha" whatever Allah puts in your path. Because afterall, He gave us life, and He has all the right in the world to take it back. I guess its in human nature that we grow to love someone. Someone once told me that you should not love a human being so much, because all of us are eventually going to die. Not even your parents nor your spouse. The one you should love with all your heart is God Almighty.

Hmm. That's true.

But then again, I saw this on someone's friendster and it gave me the creeps. That someone wrote in the "About me" description: "I love Jesus because he turns me on."

Yikes.

Kids, that is just wrong. You can say you love your God and all, but the "turning on" is soooo unnecessary, I swear.

Oh well. I digress. Back to the issue of aging and sickness. I think it is time I come out of my shell (( if there is one in the first place )) and seriously change my mentality. I still think like a little girl, I swear. I just want to wear uniforms to school and study all my life. I am not prepared to enter uni and be enroute to working life! No way! I'm too young for this!

Or so I think.

Oh wait. I digress again.

I am just unaccustomed to the fact that people around me are growing old, including myself. Don't take this the wrong way but my parents whom I remember clearly as people in their thirties are now in their mid fourties! My grandmothers and grandaunts whom I'm so attached to are aging rapidly and I only realised this when they start complaining of dizzy spells and leg aches. These people are strong. Or rather, they used to be strong. So them getting mild stroke and leg aches are a little hard for me to swallow. Like when I was told my grandmother had mild stroke I literally went "HEH?"

ARGH. This sucks. I can't get used to it. Maybe if I take time I will. But when will that be?

I wonder, I wonder.

Alhamdulillah, my grandmother was slightly better when I visited her today. She could move her left arm a little, as compared to yesterday, when she couldn't at all.

Well, I guess we got to take what comes. Its just life. So. Bear with it.

Speaking of whatever comes. I just got an email plus sms about the outcome of my PSC scholarship application. They referred me to MOE, so I'm up for the Overseas Merit (yumyum) or the Local-Overseas Merit or potentially other scholarships given by the MOE. Well. I'll just have to keep it in my prayers. I just pray that the outcome will be the best.

And that my grandmother will get well.