Tuesday, February 24, 2004
Imagine...

Been listening to Ruben Studdard's version of "Imagine". His voice is just so soothing... soothing, yet powerful. The part of the song that puts me in the zone is the part where he croons "you may say that i'm a dreamer // but I'm not the only one // I hope someday you will join us // and the world will live as one" I'm feeling very empty now. I guess I have been feeling this way eversince this year started. Like I've lost my aim in life. Now I'm just focussed on doing well for my A levels.

Been having dizzy spells for the past few days. I get really dizzy, then I start puking. Erps. What's wrong with me? My classmates tell me that I should see the doctor. Wow. The last time I seeked consultation from a doctor was eons ago. Halim tells me its either my sleeping habits or my irregular eating habits or withdrawal symptoms from slacking for too long or I'm just doing too much work now. Maybe. heh. I'd think I'm doing too much work now. But I don't have a choice. I have loads of work to do.

Edward was telling me after FMB tutorial that I looked pale and stressed. He asked, "So amylia, can I add on to your stress?" "How?" I asked. He said, "I'll list down all the work we have to do.." "Bring it on,"I replied. Okie. He listed down all the stuff that teachers have burdened us with. In all, I have at least eight pieces of assignments to complete by the end of this week, with chemistry test looming on Thursday. Four chapters that I have hardly studied for. -__- Oh help me God.

Some people are still being pains up my ass. Grrr. I can't stand it. [Ok girl..its stress...] Anyways, I think I should log off now cause I have loads of work to do. Grrrr. yup. later then. I'll leave you with a quote that I found whilst surfing the net during GP lesson.

"Show me a man or a woman alone and I'll show you a saint. Give me two and they'll fall in love. Give me three and they'll invent the charming thing we call 'society'. Give me four and they'll build a pyramid. Give me five and they'll make one an outcast. Give me six and they'll reinvent prejudice. Give me seven and in seven years they'll reinvent warfare. Man may have been made in the image of God, but human society was made in the image of His opposite number, and is always trying to get back home."
Glen Bateman, Sociology Professor in The Stand (C&U) by Stephen King

Friday, February 20, 2004
BLOGGING... AGAIN..

Yes people, I'm back.. I'd just thought i'd share this email i received from asiah. Really cracked me up...
>> The local newspaper ran a competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line... but the least romantic second line... Here are a few entries..

I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother.

Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not

I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes -
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life

I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming

My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way

My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "go to hell"

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime
--- and my favourite--
Roses are red,
violets are blue,
sugar is sweet,
and so are you.
But the roses are wilting,
the violets are dead,
the sugar bowl's empty
and so is your head.
---

Today was eventful, I must say. Quite free with occassional breaks here and there. Suff shaved his head! Looked good. I've been blog hopping quite frequently nowadays and I must say, blogs are getting mushier by the days. Mushy, but good. I ain't complaining. Learnt more interesting stuff in M.E lesson with Mr Desmond Ng today. I swear we looked like retards. A bunch of J2 students standing outside the Ideas Room in circles passing tennis balls. Haha. I think the J1s who passed by had a good laugh. -__- grrr. But the message Mr Ng was trying to pass was meaningful.

My aim for tonight is to complete my Group II metals tutorial and my complex numbers III tutorial. Grrrrr. Oh yes. and watch survivor. woohoo!

Thursday, February 19, 2004
I HAVE THE BEST CHEM TEACHER IN THE WORLD!

It was a bad attack of the cramps today... again. I don't know how it erupted but I was fine and happy and running around in the earlier part of the day. Till Chem practical when everything began to suck. Maybe it was the Sulphur Dioxide gas wafting into my nose.. Maybe it was.. I don't know but I began to feel light-headed (no..I don't sniff glue) and queasy and then the cramps set in. I felt like fainting. Yeap. It was that bad. My cramps make my body temperature rocket sky high one moment, and then dip really low the other. What's wrong with me? I wonder.

Mr Wong noticed that something was wrong and he told me to rest. And so I did. Maybe that was all i needed. Rest. I rested while the rest continued with their practical. I felt so guilty not doing prac, but i really wasn't fit to do it anyways. At the end of the prac, mr wong asked me again if I was fine and told me to go home and rest.. I told him I couldn't cos I had S paper training after that till 6. THEN, he said, "Here.. Take this. You need ions!" and gave me a can of some Qoo drink. Wow. I felt so entirely touched by his gesture. That was by far the nicest thing a teacher ever did for me.

Wow. This just gives me another reason not to disappoint Mr Wong. Especially when I know that he believes in me.

With people like these in my life.. (of course there are a few exceptions..) how can I not love my life? Till next time..

Monday, February 16, 2004
QUICK TALK

AaaaaAHHHhhH!!! Hazrul's song is playing on radio again! This is the second time I'm hearing it over the radio. Its a very meaningful song and hazrul did a really great job singing it, I must say.

Been busy lately with school work and stuff that I didn't have time to blog. Stuff worth mentioning... FMSA on Valentine's Day went well, i guess. The quiz sucked cause I couldn't answer the questions (heh..). Like who would know that "bintang yang meletus" is called a supernova? For starters, I didn't even know the meaning of meletus. yup. Me and my fantabulous malay. Went to Zam-zam to eat after that. Baba and her plans to give us a treat. Grrrr. She paid for our meal without us knowing and when we found out, we chased her around Bugis trying to stuff money down her bag. In the end, I managed to grab her pouch and stuff all the money inside. I'm good.

Sunday was mugging day. Spent the entire day mugging after my madrasah. Was supposed to mug with Aizat and Mars but Mars had to play tour guide for the day for her mum's friend or something like that. Caught Moulin Rouge at night. I cried like there was no tomorrow when Satine died. Yup, I'm an emo bitch.

School was good, but tiring today. I must admit I was completely burnt out after the double chem, double physics thing. Grrr. PE was good today! We ran to Labrador Park. It was my first time at Labrador... very nice place. The sea, the park, the breeze. Wow. It really took my mind off the stress of schoolwork for a while. The whole class hung out at the jetty, just enjoying each other's company and the surroundings. It was a really nice feeling to have everyone there. I love my class.

Anyways, Cross country's on wednesday. I'm looking forward to it. Really!

Thursday, February 12, 2004
YELLOW DAY!

Its the fourth day of friendship week today. Colour of the day-- Yellow! Woohoo! My day was set when I saw the HUGE smile unfold on Lydia's face. That was it. I was happy throughout the day. Haha! Funny how someone's happiness and joy can make you so happy. I bet Lydia's STILL happy now. I shan't publicise what we did for her. For.. um.. security reasons. (lydia.. does it beat watching 5566?) heh.

First S paper briefing today. erps. They gave us a piece of work. The scholars in my class finished it just like that. pronto. And I haven't even touched it. Grrrr. Am I stressed? Yes. That's a definite yes.

First QA Practical after so long... since... hmm.. O levels? It certainly felt good to have HCl and NO₂ fumes wafting into my nose again. Today was the best lab session so far. We got to experiment with concentrated acid. Like actually see how violently it reacts with KBr, the fumes, the smell that sends you coughing your brains off when you get a whiff of it.. and most interesting-ly how it turns flourescent paper BLOOD RED. It was so thrilling, and oh, the Ammonium Hydroxide.... THAT characteristic pungent smell that clogs up your lungs and you feel like you can't breathe? Wow. It was so nostalgic! Reminded me of Daphne... so much of daphne. When we actually communicated with each other during our Prelims practical to see if we got a precipitate, or a gas, or whether the litmus was bleached. Ah. Those were the days... that I miss so much.

Sigh. I guess I can't stay online for long. I got to go back to my books. yup. later then.

Tuesday, February 10, 2004
Untitled. (for some reason or another)

Kaulah segalanya,
yang menyinar hidupku, kasih
Hanya satunya yang ku cintai

Hulur tanganmu kasih,
sambut cintaku,
jangan tinggalkan aku seorang diri
tak sanggup lagi dilukai

Maafkan aku, jika salahku,
Peristiwa yang pernah ku alami dulu
Aku tahu, betapa pahit mu,
menerima sejarah hidupku

Kaulah segalanya,
yang menyinar hidupku, kasih
Hanya satunya yang ku cintai

Sambutlah cintaku
Jangan kau pergi dari sisiku
Cintaku padamu ikhlas sejati

Cintaku padamu, ikhlas sejati
- Kaulah Segalanya - Hazrul Nizam
Isn't this song just beautiful?

Monday, February 09, 2004
WHY?

Today marks the first day of Friendship week. I got some sweets for my class... coffee sweets, to be exact, so that they won't fall asleep during math lectures.

Did a time trial for PE just now. I improved by a whole lot... thanks to Grace who paced me through five rounds and Muthiah who paced me at the last bit. Timing is still lousy.. 15min 30 secs... Sharad completed the run in under ten minutes. Congrats man. It was a good run, no doubt. I love my class. Need I say more? =)

Gah. I hate Mondays! Simply because we have double period math, then double period chem THEN double period physics prac. Talk about a double whammy! Grrrr. And the day ended off with one redundant-sit-there-and-watch-the-teacher-act-cute GP lesson. How bad can that get? Oh, and to top that off, i'm deprived of meeting the malays on Monday 'cos I don't have a common break with any of them on Monday. =( I didn't even see Ba OR Lydia OR Aizat today.. let alone TALK to them... brushing aside the fact that i went home with Irwan today (haha! paiseh kan? paiseh..).. yeah. Thats sad!

Ahhh. I pray that the week will be brighter for me.

Sunday, February 08, 2004
TIRED

Been smacked with tutorials for the weekend... done them, i'm tired.

My parents and sister are bickering over buying a flat in Woodlands so mush so that its driving me nuts. I don't see what's the big deal about shifting to Woodlands. My sister thinks that its too far away from her school. So what? I have to go to school too! And its further for me! Deal with it like a 13 year old, please. URrggghhh. I'm not complaining... so i don't see why you should. My sister ah.. -__-

Ahhh. I'm not prepared for school tomorrow. I'm just too tired.

I'm feeling very uncertain right now. Been thinking of alot of stuff. Like should I? Or shouldn't I? Do people say things they don't mean? I don't know. I'm starting to get annoyed when people just shut off from me when I've done nothing wrong. I'm sick of that happening. Argh. What's happening to me? I'm not like this. I never was. I guess my endurance is wearing thin. Looks like there is a limit to how much I can put up with. And some people are starting to really get on my nerves nowadays. Its so frustrating I feel like _____ them. Oh well, maybe its PMS. as in lagging PMS. Or maybe its just stress. Or maybe... its just me. -shrugs-

Not exactly a good way to end off an entry, but, heck. Stress is kicking in, and I'm feeling it. This is not good.

Friday, February 06, 2004
NEW LOOK!

I just revamped my blog! Ahh..the stress of school life has led me into coming up with a new template for my blog -- just to relief stress. Links are now to the LEFT of your screen, to follow up my previous entry about the photos...

My sister told me that she gave my blog URL to her senior(s). Wow. Thanks. Now I've even got people from RGS whom I don't know reading my blog. haha! I don't mind. My blog is trashy anyways.

School was great today. I find Moral Ed lessons very interesting. You learn something new every week. Today, Mr Ng was still talking about "A mindset of a champion" and he said that you have to be happy before you can be passionate about something. At first it didn't make sense to me, as i thought that one would have to have passion before finding happiness. But after thinking it through, it does make sense after all.

See, I perceived it to be something like : If you don't like GP and you have to do a GP essay, you won't be happy cos the passion is not there. Thus, my initial thinking -- that you must have the passion for GP before you can be happy doing it. BUT Mr Ng said that happiness comes before passion. His reasoning: If you are happy, and you have to do an essay, you don't like doing it but you still do it with a little bit of passion cause you're happy. But if you're down in the pits, and you are faced with an essay, you'll just drag it. true? Very. =)

Oh yes. something else that happened that's worth mentioning. Amirah told me she was getting married. I was shocked, dumbfounded, speechless, any other adjective you can find. She said it was an arranged marriage. I didnt suspect anything and i believed her totally. She told me the date and time -- 30th Feb, ROM 830am. I was still shocked. she kept repeating the date. I still didn't get it. Until she asked me "amy, feb got how many days?" Ah. That girl ah. -__-

Thursday, February 05, 2004
UPDATES!

I've just moved all my pics online... Links are to the right of your screen... That's pretty much all I have. I'll upload more when i get more! :)

Tuesday, February 03, 2004
CRAMPS

Being a girl is tough. Had really bad cramps today at school. My cramps are so bad that they usually lead to a fever, then nausea, then I just spend the entire day puking my guts out in the toilet. Erps. Sorry guys, for the crude details. Being a girl is a tough job, but hey! someone has to do it.

Took green slip at 10 plus, after the dreaded physics test. I actually thought the test was pretty manageable, but occassional slip ups do occur and i hope i would at least pass the test. Attended my weekly math-marathon -- four periods of maths consecutively. Usually that would make me high, but today i was just waiting for it to be over. Left just before GP (what better timing eh?) and skipped all other just unimportant, insignificant, complete-waste-of-time lessons.

Yesterday was the premiere of Survivor : All Stars. I would say that it was good shit. 18 past survivors called back to play the game once more. Sorry. I'm a hugeeeEeEee fan of survivor.

Oh yes! I got really bored yesterday, so my itchy fingers went exploring Photoshop and voila! I came up with the new background. Photos drive me wild! ahahaa... Not to mention the fact that i found a new hosting site that is just stupendous. Oh lovely. I'm just going crazy with the photos. Pardon me.

Yeap. I'm at home now, trying to read up some chemistry, and hopefully get some work done. I'll be meeting mum at Bugis tomorrow. Woohoo! I'm tired after today. Really tired + sleepy. Lucky school only starts at 830 tomorrow.