Wednesday, May 19, 2004
ENLIGHTENED

Today was good. I went for a Public Service Commission (PSC) scholarship talk at the Civil Service College together with the S Paper candidates. The talk was enlightening and the speaker made his "discussion" fun for all to hear. I learnt alot about the scholarships available and it has always been my plan to apply for one. But of course, majority of the JC students will be eyeing the overseas scholarship. I won't deny I'm not, aiming is one thing, getting it, however, is another.


The aftermath of this talk: I'm inspired! I told myself, the first (feasible) step that I should take is to work hard for BT2 and get good results. Think short term. Once I'm stable, then I can start thinking long term. I must admit, its certainly quite scary to think about my own future. I don't know why, but it scares me that I'll be alone out there in this dog-eat-dog world soon. It was intimidating enough for me to be attending the talk with the people I've had alot of respect for. From Samuel to Jaya to Hirman to Roger, even Adrienne. Wow. To be among one of them listening to the talk was intimidating as well as an honour! They are really intellectual people who still leave me in awe. Unlike the scholars in my class, I feel proud to be part of them because they're the local students who have shown excellence in their studies. They show me that it is certainly possible to do well, even amongst strong competitors like Marcus Tan. (heh.. no offence to you, marcus..)


During the reception, I was a little apprehensive and quiet at first. I didn't want to talk for fear that I'd say something silly and really sound stupid. After all, it is better to let people think you're stupid than to open your mouth and resolve all doubt. But I was talking to Parvinder and Adrienne, people who share the same malay class as me and i realised that talking to them wasn't so difficult after all. It was then that I opened up, or so I thought. I met up with Shermaine, my classmate of two years in upper Sec who's in CJC now. She's doing really well. She shared the same sentiment as me too. We just don't want to study in Singapore! -shrugs- I have no idea why too.


Since I'm feeling very much inspired now, I should go do my Maths S Paper tutorial. I've got S Paper training tomorrow. (yes, yes, must warm up and do stretching first..) A valuable lesson learnt today: When told to ask questions during a talk, ask if the reception is halal. HAHA!